I think I speak for all 2020 graduating seniors, when I say that college did not end in the way that I expected it to.

My journey at the Columbus College of Art & Design, started when I was in middle school. I knew that I wanted to go to fashion college one day, and luckily, my hometown of Columbus, Ohio served as a great place to do so. (Did you know that Columbus is America’s #3 fashion capital next to NYC and LA?!)

My mom found a summer art program at CCAD for middle and high school students, and I ended up falling so in love with the college. It’s a small private school, solely focused on developing artists and designers, but it’s quaintness is what made it feel like home. I went back to numerous summer programs throughout high school and all the way until I was graduated and ready to actually attend CCAD as a college student.

I pretty much grew up at CCAD.

Some of my very favorite memories took place on its campus. I remember sitting in a classroom on the 2nd floor of the Design Studios when I was 14…I had just gotten my braces, and was learning about color theory from my mentor Bethany.

That same classroom, was the one I walked into for a visual literacy course on my 18th birthday with saran wrap on my ribcage because I went to get a tattoo in between classes. (Let me clarify, my mom took me to get it as a birthday present. It’s a very small tattoo, my only one, that even I forget that I have sometimes. Somehow this remains the ‘craziest’ thing I’ve ever done in life)

Throughout my time attending summer programs at CCAD, I experimented a lot with artsy hair colors and outfits. There was definitely a ‘phase’ I went through in high school and entering college, where I crafted my identity in my colored hair, nose rings, and designing skull and cross bone t-shirts.

However, about half way through my freshmen year of college, I began to shift, change and evolve into what I feel is my true identity not only as a designer or as a brand, but as a human.

My aesthetic slowly shifted into girly, floral, frilly, rose gold and pink EVERYTHING. And I started to develop my brand, and discover my purpose.

CCAD taught me about sustainability in the fashion industry. So, I started to change my design process into using eco-friendly materials and methods. I studied Parisian haute couture designers, and became entranced with dress making.

During my freshman year of college, I met Randy. He became CCAD’s first campus minister in partnership with the Coalition of Christian Outreach, and before I knew it, I found myself for the first time in life, in fellowship with classmates and attending weekly bible studies. My love and discovery of Christ was planted. I was invited to a life changing Christian conference, and afterwards started attending a local church on Sunday mornings.

At Sunday church, I met a guy who played drums in the worship band named Gabe. He caught my attention right away, and after a little while began to come pick me up in his old pickup truck from the dorms and take me to get ice cream after I finished all my projects.

Among many ice cream dates, my college career was filled with bible studies, sleepless nights, and me often times missing class to hop on a plane to my next fashion show.

I guess the point in what I’m writing is, I’m going to miss this school. This is where so much of me, blossomed. Really, I always dreaded leaving CCAD, because it’s always been what’s felt comfortable to me. I’ve never wanted to leave the photography studio, library or sewing labs. I always knew that the last day of my senior year would be really hard for me.

I just didn’t know it was coming so soon.

Our final end of year fashion show was scheduled for May 8th 2020. And our commencement ceremony the next morning on May 9th. My whole family was going to come into town to celebrate that weekend. All 14 of us seniors in the fashion design program worked extremely hard on our collections, and had just presented them for judging on February 28th.

After the judging was over, we found out that every student in the class got selected to be in the final show! We were happy, excited, and ready to nap. Spring break started on March 9th, but since all my work was done, I left for spring break a couple days early. On March 4th, I headed to San Francisco to see my very best friends in Praxis’ Emerging Founders Program. (More on that later, basically….it’s the best Christian entrepreneurship program ever!)

My point of this long story (that doubles as a therapy session for me) is that I didn’t know March 3rd was going to be my last day at CCAD. I wasn’t expecting it to end so soon.

Upon returning from San Francisco, COVID-19 started rapidly spreading in the US and our one week spring break turned into a two week spring break. Then, into remote classes for a month, and into remote classes for the rest of the year. And finally, into no fashion show or graduation ceremony. We were instructed to go to campus to clean out our lockers, and quietly return back to our homes. I walked into the sewing lab to grab my things, and immediately pictured me at 15 learning to dye fabric for the first time.

I cried, because if you know me well, you know that crying is a normalcy for me. Then, I took some photos, walked around for a bit. And then my fiancé helped me pack all my things.

Yes, my fiancé. Gabe. The same boy that picked me up outside the freshman dorms when I was 18 in his pickup truck, is the same boy that I am now 21 and engaged to. I’ll be marrying in the art museum on campus next year.

I’m leaving CCAD a better person. I’ve grown up. Started my own brand. I’m getting married. I’ve developed a strong work ethic like no other. And I learned how to dream.

Thank you, CCAD. We had way more time together than most people. (Seriously, the admin people are probably waiting for me to leave) So this abrupt ending…the band aid being ripped off of me, is probably what I needed. You’ve taught me one last life lesson I will forever need as an artist and as a human: how to have tough skin.